Kanye To Wrestle For WWE

There’s one thing that Kanye West is very very good at. Other than the whole creative genius/rapping thing. And that’s pissing people off.

MediaTakeOut is reporting that Vince McMahon and the WWE have offered Kanye close to $10 million to show up at 3 events. Not that he needs the money, but if he accepts the offer, he would have to do some “light wrestling.” We’re not sure what that means, but regardless, here are some of opponents we’d like to see the Louie Vuitton Don get in the ring with.

vs. VIBE MAGAZINE: Um, we all know what happened to them. So, by default… Winner: Yeezy.

vs. TAYLOR SWIFT: She’s a classy southern belle who, clearly, doesn’t fight dirty – we saw this at the VMAs. – so she’ll Jedi-mindtrick his ass by using her words, and not her weight. i.e. She’ll sing him that country love song she won Best Female Video for over and over until he willingly walks out the ring. Winner: T.S.!

vs. 50 CENT: a.k.a. Battle of the Jaw. Literally. (But also, figuratively. As in, who can talk the most trash without ever really doing…much of anything else?) Winner: Stalemate

vs. ANY PAPARAZZI CAMERA MAN: Amber Rose is always available because she has nothing else to do. The cameras love her and she loves them back. So, using her lifeless, Barbie-shaped self as a diversion, Kanye can sneak away without ever having to throw a punch. Winner: ‘Ye.

vs. GEORGE W. BUSH: Dubya shocks the nation. As usual. Shoots Kanye accidentally, while claiming he was hunting quail. Runs around chanting: “They misunderestimated me!” Winner: Baby Bush.