DEAR KAREEM: Do I Live With My Ex For The Sake Of Our Child?

Dear Kareem,

My ex-boyfriend/baby father and I broke up several months ago, but we still live together. Originally I was just staying with him until I could get my own place, but a few weeks ago I packed up my stuff to leave because I have not been able to accept our break up and I can’t deal with the fact that he is dating. Upon me leaving he got very upset because he wanted us to continue be “roommates” for the time being for the sake of our child. We still sleep together (which I know is really bad), and for the most part we’ve been getting along, save a few arguments here and there. Lately I’ve been feeling like he’s benefiting from all of this because he still has me living with him and our child, but he’s still out doing him. It’s not right – it was his choice to end the relationship, not mine. I really feel like I should move because it’s not like we’re going to live together forever, but I’m hit with the reality of our child potentially living in a split home. Some people say I should stay for our child, and some say I should go for my own sanity. What should I do?

Kareem Says:

He is having his cake and eating it too. He is totally winning. He has the comfort of home and family – but since you all are not technically together, he can date, sleep around, etc. If you all are doing this “arrangement” for the sake of the kid, you should not be sleeping together. What if he brings you back an STD from one of his new partners? What if you two make a mistake and get pregnant again? Is any of that worth it? Your child will eventually sense the angst and discontent within your relationship, and that wont be good for him. Leave now. Take your child and work out visitation with the father.