Whether you like to talk about it or not, HIV/AIDS is real and it’s in our community. According to the
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, African-Americans in the United States make up 44% of new HIV infections. This has got to stop!
In honor of
Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, I take you inside the doctor’s office with me as I await my results. As a young, sexually active woman, I make it my business to get tested and know my status. Waiting for the results is the hardest part. After you’ve built up the courage to get tested, it’s the waiting that breaks down any confidence you might’ve had.
Every August, I get checked out. I don’t know why I picked August, but that’s when I make my appointment. Getting tested isn’t on my top ten list of “Rad Things To Do,” but it gets done.
As I walked into the testing room, Jeffrey, the health educator, took a black pen from a coffee mug storing a bevy of black pens, and clicked the top of it.
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“Okay Shenequa,” he said in his sweet papi accent. “I need you to answer a few questions.”
He opened his manila envelope filled with paperwork and then the prying into my sexual life began.
“What’s your sexual orientation?” he asked.
“Heterosexual.” I replied.
“When you have sex, do you use protection?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of sex do you engage in? Vaginal? Oral?”
“Vaginal and Oral.” I answered.
“Do you have anal sex?”
“No.”
Although honest with all of you about my sex life (or the lack there of, as of late) in this cold and informal setting, I was, almost embarrassed. The cloudy, gray day seemed to echo the sentiments of the tone inside the office.
As I answered his questions, Jeffrey checked certain boxes and circled others. I tried to divert my attention, looking out the window and gazing at people while on their way to work. I looked at everything and everyone except Jeffrey.
“Okay Shenequa,” he said clicking his pen. Now, we’re ready for the H.I.V. test.”
I took a rapid H.I.V. test using the OraQuick test by OraSure Technology. Unlike drawing blood, patients use the mouth swab to swab their upper and lower gums. After the swab, patients receive their results in 20 minutes.
According to a recent New York Times article, The Food and Drug Administration approved The OraQuick test for at-home-usage. Similar to home-pregnancy tests, patients now can learn their status in the privacy of their own homes, but for about $60. The product will be sold in drugs stores such as Duane Reade by the end of the year, Jeffrey said.
After he swabbed my gums, he placed my test in a plastic tube and set a timer. I was then escorted outside to a waiting area where I was left with my thoughts.
No matter how sure you are, when it comes to H.I.V and STD testing, you can never be too sure. I sat down, trying my best to be occupied with the shenanigans of Twitter and Facebook, but for those 20 minutes, nothing anyone posted or Tweeted was important.
I thought back on the men I let in, literally and figuratively. I came to the swift conclusion, none of them are worth the mere anxiety, nervousness or scare of possibly testing positive.
Yes, I have sex, and yes, I use protection, but what if the condom broke and I didn’t know? None of the men I’ve dated were worth those 20 agonizing minutes, or that small voice, that you never know voice.
“Shenequa, what if you go back in that office and Jeffrey tells you something you don’t want to hear? I said to myself. “What are you going to do? How will you tell Char…”
“Shenequa,” Jeffrey interrupted my thoughts. “Your results are ready.”
I walked back in the office, and sat in the same seat as before.
“Shenequa, you tested negative,” Jeffrey said. “There were no H.I.V. antibodies present.”
Jeffrey continued to speak but his voice started to fade as my own thoughts took over. There’s nothing funny or cute about having an incurable STD. Those brief moments of sexual pleasure won’t make up for that lifetime mistake.
In recent years, casual sex has become the norm and unprotected sex is the big secret everyone knows, but doesn’t talk about. It’s like STDs and H.I.V/A.I.D.S don’t scare people anymore. Like, it’s lost its edge!
I’m not hear to T.D. Jakes it out. Nor am I telling you what you need to do in the bedroom, but I use protection and I was scared out of my mind waiting for my results.
I left Jeffrey and headed Uptown to get my hair done. I put my headphones in and listened to some Jazz because it seemed appropriate for the weather.
As I boarded the train, I let out a sigh of relief.
Thankful.
Happy.
Healthy.
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More On HIV/AIDS:
Black HIV Awareness Day Is Feb. 7, Get Tested With FDA-Approved Home HIV Test
Magic Johnson: At-Home HIV Test Is “A Game-Changer”
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