A few months ago I asked, “Why Do Mediocre Men Have Such High Standards?” I was somewhat reminded of this as I caught the second episode of “Tiny Tonight” on VH1. An audience member asked Claudia Jordan and Trina what an ideal first date would be. More interested in cool conversation and a good time, Claudia responded, “I’m pretty much a simple girl. Like, I don’t need all the extravagant things. I kind of want to get to know the person, so a lot of talking. I like going to dinner. I’d even cook dinner for the man; I think that’s kind of fun. We can go bowling. I can see how you react when you lose or when you win. Are you a good sport? And I just like to keep it light and fun, especially for the first date. You don’t really want a lot of pressure.”
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Claudia’s co-hostess and rapper Trina, on the other hand, wasn’t as modest with her demands: “I’m more of like a sweep me off my feet type of girl. I just feel like, put me on a private jet; fly me away for a little while. Let’s have dinner, let’s have romantic one-on-one time on a little island, a beach, some sand never hurt anybody. I’m spoiled, like rotten, so I need all of the attention—not some of it.”
Claudia and Trina’s answers sat on two polar extremes. While I know I would never cook for a man on a first date (not that I could even if I wanted to), I agreed more with Claudia’s response. I definitely wouldn’t expect, or desire, due to safety in this day and age, a man I just met to whisk me away to Cayman for a weekend vacation. Whether you’re “The Diamond Princess” or not, that seems like a lot to ask for date number one. Not to mention, if a man put in all that work for the first date, he’d probably be expecting something you wouldn’t necessarily want to give him so soon. Trina is, in my opinion, stop-in-your-tracks gorgeous, and her social class makes her privy to a selection of men who could without a doubt afford to accommodate her dating demands, so maybe that is her norm?
For more realistic first dates, however, whether you’re ballin’ or barely dribbling, here are three suggestions that will guarantee a good time and an unbiased experience that will allow you to really determine if there’s a genuine connection worth pursuing, or if it’s a first and last.
Dinner: It’s so traditional but it’s a go-to because it allows you to kill several birds with one stone. Whether upscale or mom & pop, go out to a restaurant. You can see if your date has manners or if they eat like a slob. Is he polite to the server? Does he tip? Does he pay the bill? Can he hold decent conversation? These are all important things, and the quicker you find out the answers, the better! I don’t suggest cooking just yet. Make him work a little for that.
Skating: O anything interactive and physical is usually fun. It’s a good one if you’re nervous. Activities like this make you feel like a teeny-bopper again and usually lighten any tension. The two of you can still converse about all the important things without the intimidation of a formal environment. You can also check to see if he’s your type of fun. If his company makes you bored, even in what’s supposed to be a fun setting, you know not to move things forward.
Museum or Gallery: Gauge how open-minded he is and suggest something a bit more on the intellectual side of things. Does he appreciate diversity? Is he open to learning more about things he doesn’t understand? Is he culturally sensitive? We don’t always think to observe these types of things right off the bat, but they’re good to know.
What do you think about Claudia and Trina’s ideal first dates? What’s your idea or a good first date? Have you had any really great or horrible first dates? Share with your fellow beauties.
Let’s keep in touch. Follow me on Twitter: @VerityReign
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