Can A Widower Find Love Again?
PUT A RING ON IT: Stephen Found Love Again With Nikki After A Traumatic Loss
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Who doesn’t love Black love?! We do and we celebrate it with our “Put A Ring On It” series. Each week, we’ll feature YOUR engagement and wedding stories, romantic photos and even tips that’ll help other Beauties out on their Big Day. Check back each week for a new installment!
This week, we spoke with Nikki and Stephen about the possibility of finding love after loosing a spouse. Neither one of them expected to be more than friends, but when it’s meant to be, you both know it!
HER SIDE
Our story is a little different. Steve was previously married for 5 years to a lovely woman by the name of Geneisha. In their second year of marriage, she was diagnosed with Myeloma cancer. After three years of fighting for her life, she went home to be with the Lord.
We should have been friends. It was too easy. My best friend Briana, and his best friend Lloyd, are brother and sister. Get it? I went to college with Stevie’s little sister Kieara. We have plenty of mutual friends, yet we never had a real friendship. After his first wife passed, he came to a few events at my church. I felt drawn to him, but I felt so wrong. How could I like him after he lost his wife? However, I did notice him staring at me [laughs]!
Months later, he asked if I can be on the marketing team for his concert. This caused us to talk everyday, and of course we were NOT talking about the concert. Soon he snuck a date, and then eventually told me, ‘What if I told you I have to tell you something?’ After telling me he liked me and I confirmed I was feeling the same, we fell in love quick and hard. Six months later, he was on one knee asking me to be his wife!
How We Got Engaged
They got me GOOD. My best friend Briana and Stevie had me thinking I was going to an exclusive ESSENCE event with Nia Long (they know I love me some Nia Long). As I headed to Briana’s house, I had NO idea our family and friends were in the basement with Stevie waiting on my arrival.
Briana looked at her phone and screams “Nikki, did you see what Steve put on Facebook?!?” His status said: “When it’s real, it’s real. When it’s right, it’s right. And when you’re ready, you’re ready. I hope she says yes!” Dumbfounded, I said, “Why would he put that on Facebook?”
All of a sudden, Jonathan McReyonolds comes up the stairs singing Chrisette Michelle‘s “A Couple of Forevers” (our song). Briana tells me to have a seat, because I was literally shocked, lol. One by one, members of our family brought me a rose. They then made a mini-pathway for my prince/man of my dreams Stevie to come down. He makes a speech and then asks me to be his wife. I answered before he even finished asking. I said yes TWICE!
NEXT: Check out his side and that BEAUTIFUL ring!
HIS SIDE
Where do I start? When it comes to this love story stuff, I definitely have a unique one. I was once married, which always raises eyebrows. That marriage didn’t end in divorce, but death actually did us part. Only 2 years into our marriage, Geneisha, my late wife, was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, and was called home 2 years after. I was by her side until the last breath. This left me in a state of pain, confusion, hurt, you name it. There I was a 31-year-old widower, which is a title I totally didn’t expect to have so soon.
In my quiet time, I would pray for the opportunity to start a family again. I prayed that it wouldn’t take forever, and that the first woman I date will be the woman I marry! So many questions were ringing in my ear: When is the right time? Who’s gonna want you? Who’s gonna embrace your story? What are people gonna think of me dating again? I didn’t even know my type anymore. The best advice I was given was to go with the flow, keep working, keep doing music and keep going to church.
When I was at the place where I was comfortable with life, I was formally introduced to the amazing Nikki. The crazy thing about Nikki was I knew she existed. We had a lot of mutual friends, but never actually knew each other. I guess we weren’t supposed to until it was time. We were introduced on a light level. We would text each other from time to time. I attended a few events at her church and she recommended me for a few musical engagements. Well, here’s where things kicked up a notch. One day, we were texting about my upcoming concert that she agreed to help me with. I was driving and I couldn’t keep texting, so I picked up the phone and called her for the first time! And honestly, I was gone. We talked about the concert for, like, 5 minutes and, the rest of the conversation was spent getting to know this awesome young lady. We talked for hours a day. As crazy as it felt and as early as it was, I knew I wanted her in my life for the long haul.
Finally, the time came when I couldn’t hold in the fact that I was feeling her, and I couldn’t go much longer without her knowing. So, I told her — we joke about my question — and said, “what if I told you I have something to tell you?” (if you re-read that question, you’ll see how bad it sounds!). Then, I said, “I really like you, Nikki, and don’t know what to do about it.” In other words, I didn’t know where to start. I just knew how I was feeling. Well, it turned out she was digging me too! So, let the building begin.
Getting to know Nikki was and still is a great experience. She embraces my story, my family and friends love her, and most importantly, she loves me for me. When you meet someone who is literally everything you prayed for and more, the chemistry is right, and you know this is the one, the last thing you want to do is keep her waiting. Time to put a ring on it!
How We Got Engaged
After strategically planning a way to get her friends and family in the same place at the same time without her having a clue, me and her best friend pulled it off. January 4th 2014, I surprised my fiancé. With help from my homies Harry Hunt and Jonathan McReynolds, they played and sang her favorite love song, while her friends and family came out of nowhere giving her hugs and roses. She was so surprised. Then, they made a path for me to walk through. I walked through the crowd, said a quick speech and got on one knee and asked Nikki to be my wife. And she said yes!!! This made me the happiest man on the planet! Asking Nikki to marry me was really a no-brainer. So, here I am engaged to the woman I truly believe God had hand-picked for me. I’m not afraid to say I love her more than words. Through all the hurt and grief, I’ve learned that God always has a plan. When he writes your story, there’s always a great ending.
Nikki & Stephen are getting married on September 6, 2014!
Are you recently engaged or married? Do you know someone else who’s about the head down the aisle? Let us know by messaging us on Facebook or emailing us at hbgotthering@gmail.com and you could be featured!
